All Talk, No Listening?
The biggest learnings are often the simplest.
The most common flaw in communication remains an over-enthusiasm for telling—without the patience to listen.
This shows up most clearly in stressful situations like interviews, where candidates often don’t even listen to what’s being asked. They just trigger their rehearsed script. Sometimes the responses are so off-mark, you wonder if they even heard a word you said.
Good candidates sometimes waste their shot simply because they keep talking about things that weren’t asked.
Many remain in a hurry to “make the best use of” the interview duration. They lack the patience to listen through the initial 2-3 minutes when the interviewer provides them context and tells them specifically what they’re interested in knowing.
In communication-heavy roles like product management, this is a red flag. If you can’t truly listen to me for a few minutes, how can I trust you with the clients my team has worked hard to bring in?
I don’t think people do this intentionally. Often, it’s just nerves. We’ve all been there. With time and practice, they’ll find their rhythm.
The sweet spot, for me, is the candidate who walks in nervous and paced-up—but when gently nudged, drops the script and starts listening and responding.
And interviews are just one setting. This applies to every kind of conversation.
Some of the worst conversations I’ve had are with those who treat each conversation as a power dynamics game—thinking that the person who talks most DOMINATES the conversation. The less direct ones believe they’re “LEADING” it.
Sadly, such people end up gaining benefits in certain situations, further strengthening their belief. And frankly, I don’t know any corrective measure for such behaviour. In certain situations, one has to play their game as a preventive measure. But I do believe that in the long term, this behaviour does add up. It affects one’s ability to have any genuine conversation.
To those who don’t listen out of nervousness or habit: The best remedy is to bring yourself back to the moment.
To remember: every conversation is a chance to learn something. Every word reveals a bit more about the person in front of you. And if we can’t catch what’s being said directly, how will we ever notice what’s being said indirectly—through tone, posture, or expression?
We all rehearse conversations in our heads. We all have things we want to say. We all carry some bad habits. But over-enthusiasm to say everything too soon ruins conversations quickly.
If everyone’s in a rush to share, no one receives. Become a great receiver. Listen. Truly listen. Be in the conversation.